cos i'm bored

Thursday, March 30, 2006


Rules: Tagged person must come up with 7 points 1 point about their perfect lover. must include the sex of ur lover. sex: malefemale

1. as long as she truly loves me, that's good enough.

7 1 random fact about myself:

i like wearing my cat high pe tshirts at home cos they're thin and really comfy now

1 random song:

let me blow your mind - eve ft gwen stefani

1 thing i say the most:

slack ah

1 thing to do before i die:

amass many shoes








zhng my blog

Monday, March 27, 2006


HARLOW! this is ah hock, welcome to my show! it is the very special first episode of this show, is called ZHNG MY BLOG! Got some peoples will ask why call this zhng my blog...well let ah hock tell you, it is very easy one, because i will help you to zhng your blog until nice nice, got alot of visitor will come, then they will tells other people, until your blog become damn popular until feature in newspaper like the mrbrown and miyagi liddat ah...then you become famous, like lim peh, and then all the girls will come after you. if you dowan girl to come after you, no problem! i call my uncle ang lee to zhng for you then you can get all the brokeleg ah pek to come find you one...

okay first, i tells you the basics. this one ah, is the most important. NUMBER ONE: you must got blog first. very simple right? too simple until dun need me to tell you? your head ah! got some people come find me want to zhng their blog then i ask where is their blog and they go 'huh what blog'. this kind of customer ah, really gimme headache ah. if you dun have blog then i zhng what? you think like ang lee make crouching blog hidden journal issit? or is it magic like the david cobaltfield? from nothing make a blog for you, i tell you go fly kite la... you go make blog first. make finish then come and kah jiao me.

okay next, you make your blog already i can can zhng for you nice nice. if your blog very plain. then no good. go there kua si mi? must make it attractive..one of the popular thing ah, is to put photo. up to you la, can put photo of zoe tay, jessica liaoba also can. but very important, if you do not look like celebrity liddat, you cannot put your own photo. why? cos if people visit your blog and see an ugly face there they will do 2 things. no1: either they laugh like siao, cough like siao and vomit their lunch. no2: they zhijie vomit lunch when they see the picture. I tells you ah, you dowan either of this things to happen. cos if ppl vomit on their computer then their com spoil and they cannot see your blog. they also will not want to come see your blog again. see for what? sure vomit blood one. the only time they go your blog is when they want to eat buffet cos they eat until full full then they log on your blog, see the kena-lorry-langah-face then vomit and can eat more food. so, either you put nice photo of chiobu or shuaige or you go for plastic surgery. you can try the buttox injection, i hear it very powderful one, they inject your face until it smooth like baby backside, thats why they call it buttox

alright when your blog got people come and kaypoh already ah, you must let them give comment, cos when you get comment it shows you are popular. so i recommend that i zhng for you the tagboard. the tagboard very special one, it can know who is the person tagging and tell you. so ah if got some bo liao bum come and tag your board scold you scold your mother your father, you can trace him. trace until damn zhun, give you their name their address their ic their library card number, even the name of their dog also can. its no problem, ah hock can do for you. how much? aiyah very cheap la, in fact i give you special deal, one time only. i can make sure got chiobu come and tag your blog, say nice thing about you then leave their number, say they wanna be friends. everyone will say you damn seh ah to attract some many admirers. erm but whether you call and actually get guy or girl on the other end i dunno ah, that one is the supplier problem not mine

okay that's it for today, thank yous so much for watching my show. hock will be back with more tips on how to zhng your blog, next time i show you how to make blog until damn fierce one ah, everyone see will go wahhhh so zai so pro one. till then this is ah hock saying goodbai!!!!!

~done in tribute of and with inspiration from zhng my car of the mrbrown show~


h for hock

Sunday, March 26, 2006


i'm living vicariously with a vengeful vendetta of violence. or something like that. there ain't a cooler way to dispatch your enemies than to spout shakespeare while inflicting greivous body harm haha. as you might have guessed, i caught v for vendetta and after watching it i only had 3 words. "damn ******* cool" . well be thankful i thought of more stuff to say about it. in any case its still damn ******* cool

its been a busy weekend. i've given 18 hours to pre u sem over two days. that's ALOT. try sitting for 9 hours straight debating in circles. thankfully on saturday it was way more fun and productive. in fact our idea is so cool that i quote 'we win already' unqoute and they can just send everyone else home from the pre u sem. chengwei is gonna be the next pm and i'm gonna be the minister of sound in his cabinet haha


hock-unit III

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


*at some sushi place*

loen: die ah can't finish all this soft-shell crab... eh help eat leh
daryl: what? you are the one who ordered so much
damein: yeah daryl ordered one serving and i ordered one serving and you had to be the macho man and say FIVE SERVINGS...
loen: Oei... i eat so much i'm like going to puke already
damein: why waste time eating then? you can just go look in the mirror haha
daryl: eh stop suaning him la...i know we're some much more handsome but should show some humility right...
loen: wah lau what kind of brothers are you? always so bad one
daryl: you aren't being a very good sister too
loen: -.-'

*after some time there still remains some crab*

damein: hey let's call the rest to help us finish the food la...we dying already haha
daryl: yeah good idea. *calls out to davehtas, ceirse and aelx at the other table* eh guys wanna try some crab? its damn nice.
damein: yeah it hasn't been touched yet
ceirse: hmm why don't we play zhong zi mi ma to get rid of it? loser eats the crab
loen: yeah good, we're gonna make you three eat it for us haha, i'm damn sick of it
daryl: i wanna set the number! alright ...range is 1 to 200. aelx go!
aelx: hmmm... 173
daryl: *checks number* OH DUDE! you got it! we have a winner! enjoy your crab haha
aelx: what?! dammit this sucks. nevermind, i'm gonna set the next round, y'all better watch out... okay range 1 to 100
damein: ummmm ahhhhh ermmmm hmmmm let the number be x. x lies in (1,100). by interval bisecti-
davehtas: hurry up la! you think your maths very good is it?
damein: HEY! I am damn smartrrrr! I take physics, maths chemistryrrr econs f-maths computing and gp arse paperrrrrrrrrr. i have an iq of two hundred sixty five thousand six hundred and fifteen.
daryl: that's nothing la, my hq is higher than yours
damein: hq?
loen: I know i know! hq is handsome quotient right? you trying to say you more handsome...
daryl: whoa loen you surprised me! you're wayyy smarter than you look...
loen: why thank yo-- huh?! what the...

*and so concludes this edition of the adventures of h-unit, where h= handsome, hot, hunky and of course, hock :p *







less stress, less mess

Sunday, March 19, 2006


if you all don't know by now, i don't perform well under stress. its been like that since, like, the beginning of time man. flashback to primary school where i was in some upwords competition (upwords is kinda like scrabble except that you can put letters on top of each other to form words - hence the name) representing my school. i didn't fare well cos i was running a fever and the responsibility of playing for the school was weighing down on me.

so yeah i work best under minimal stress. that rhymes ( and it ain't no crime) =p haha i know i'm spouting nonsense but its just my way to relax. another way to chill is to consume copious amounts of food, meaning ALOT of it. try 4 slices of pizza, garlic bread, 2 glasses of coke, a cup of soup and some mcdonalds milkshake to wash it all down haha. coupled with the fact that i missed my weekly run, it does not bode well for me. luckily, according to someone, i never seem to gain much weight even though i eat so much. well that's good for me and too bad for you haha

now its time for some last-minute chionging of computer games before i sleep haha


a fire inside

Saturday, March 18, 2006


there's something that everybody in the world needs. its something hard to explain yet essential in life. it can incite great outpouring of emotion and shake up the senses, leaving you exhilarated but contented at the end of the ride.

I NEED A GOOD DRINK!

a godiva chocolixir would be nice. so would a starbucks venti rhumba frappucino. or maybe for some kicks, bailey's original irish cream. heck, i've got some root beer in the fridge and i wish i had a bottle of absolut vodka to mix with it. can't wait till i turn 18 and i can just walk into 7eleven to stock up on my choice of poison.

81 days till 18...81 days till 18



Friday, March 17, 2006


I'm sorry!!


chocolicious

Sunday, March 12, 2006










godiva chocolixir. liquid ecstasy. like ambrosial nectar it warms you from within, filling your entire being with an incredible sensation that is intense yet subtle at the same time. all for the price of 8 bucks. a big sum? 8 bucks is but a small price to pay for what must be the equivalent of liquid gold. i didn't expect much at first but the first sip i took just blew me away. ok actually it didnt. it left me rooted to the spot, for the strong hit of flavour was just so incredible that i could only stand and appreciate the sheer beauty of it. and that's just from the milk choc version. still gotta try the dark choc ( at wai ling's recommendation) and the white choc with raspberry. looks like i gotta scrimp and save up another $16 haha

alright i'm sure some of y'all are shaking heads at such a sinful indulgence. believe me, i had a strong debate within my head about this:

hock: eh go try that thing leh...looks nice
daryl: no la, cannot
hock: why? you on diet issit? dun worry man, you exercise regularly and that's good. a little indulgence every now and then is quite alright.
daryl: no its not that... flash n splash has 30% off so i might need the cash, 8 bucks short could well deny me that cool reef shirt
hock: ...

well in the end i had my chocolixir and an adidas pool bouy too...the one i've been eyeing for like months haha.

ok now the indulgent side of me takes a backseat and the other side takes over. no, its not time for the handsome charming and smart guy yet, its the fit, fast and athletic sportsman (forgive the mild exaggeration =p) anyway, i'm loving running more and more. its an exercise in mental strength as much as it is phyical endurance. telling yourself that you can go on, that you're invincible and reallyreallyfast helps alot. and when you're on the road, its just you against the clock and you're hoping to be just that much faster than your previous time. and you do that by constant motion. don't stop don't slack and just keep moving. i think that could be my new motto haha.

note to self: never ever run after drinking chocolixir. its not fun :X






look on the bright side

Saturday, March 11, 2006


gp paper was like ehhhhhhhh... but looking on the bright side, i guess the school is just trying to scare us silly and make us mug like mad for cts. i ain't gonna give them that satisfaction.

leftfoot has opened another store at cine. but i'm broke and can't do anything but gawk at the shoes there. but on the bright side, i guess i'm saving myself loads of cash. guess it helps my goal of becoming less materialistic too.

i realised i like to talk. alot. no talk makes daryl a dull boy. is that good or is that bad? if you can't make yourself understood, then you've just been had...

okayyyy that didn't make sense. i'm battling a bout of randomness and i'm losing, cts in a week and i'm still snoozing...


the adventures of hock-unit 2 + i

Sunday, March 05, 2006


some people have requested for expanded roles. enjoy

~davehtas is eating in the canteen~

jnoane: hey are you eating?
davehtas: nooooo... i'm just sitting here having an intellectual discussion with a bowl of food, something I could never do with you.
.
.
.
jnoane: huh?
davehtas: my point exactly.
.
.
.
jnoane: wah...I can't stand talking to you
davehtas: can't stand but can sit right?
jnoane: *waves fist* are you asking for a box?!
davehtas: oh you're getting me a fruit box? thanks

~meanwhile, at the chaifan chinese cuisine stall queue...there is an ongoing debate

loen: hey that girl not bad looking...
hock: where...i can't see
loen: that one...back facing us, wait till she turns around...
*girl turns*
hock: AHHHHH!! PRODUCT! Loen! Are you blind?
loen: huh? i think she looks okay.
hock: she is as good-looking as you are handsome...
loen: wah that means she supermodel liao...like on the project runway show
hock: more like... ...PRODUCT runway hahaha
loen: diaox

*davehtas joins the queue*

loen: hey dav after this is what ah?
davehtas: after this is that. and after that is this. lack ah lack ah
loen: i know you gp pro la...but-
hock: eh thank you thank you
loen: shaddup la..eh for real, what's after this?
hock: for real? for fake? for better for worst? for richer for poorer?
loen: ...eh stop playin leh i just wanna know what's after this..can't a guy get some info here?!!
davehtas: eh lack ah lack ah lack ah lack ah
loen: huh? dun tell me relac leh..
hock: no he's telling you what's after this..we got lect...lecture
loen: chehhh

-thats all for now folks...i have 1 + i hours to do 3 + i questions of complex numbers so episode 2 + i of the hock-unit shall end here haha













the adventures of hock-unit

Friday, March 03, 2006


names have been changed to protect confidentiality

~somewhere in bukit timah, 2 guys are arguing~

Sirni: Eh boss, relac abit ok? I very tired already
Loen: Who you think you are?! You are worker, I am boss, you say you tired, wait i send you back to bangla then you know!
Sirni: But boss..you haven't gimme my pay for last week...
Loen: if you complain somemore this week your pay i also don't give you! now get back to work! you want your 2.50 or you want me to replace you?!

~hock arrives on the scene~

hock: aiyyo what up
Sirni: eh yo homie yoyo
Loen: yoyo? pro-yo?
*cricket sound*
Loen: Eh don't like that leh, y'all always so bad to me...what kind of friends are you
hock: friends? you have friends?
Loen: Wahhh *middlefinger*
hock: haha just joking la, you know we love you...
Loen: Ooooh i love you too
hock: *clutches back* AHH! BROKEBACK! die...
Loen: Very funny...
Sirni: Yeah what.. quite funny actually
Loen: OI I AM THE BOSS... YOU ARE THE WORKE-
hock: nonono i am the boss, and who am i?

~along comes davehtas~

davehtas: YOU ARE THE SPECIAL ONE!
hock: very good. that is right.
sirni: h-h-h-h-HOCKUNIT!
hock: very good, we are hock-unit, alright-
davehtas: NO it is NOT alright.
hock: s-shutup! shut up dav shut up. i was not looking at champions. you made me laugh, and champions should not make me laugh. if i wanna laugh i'll watch damein do a car insurance ad. damein! do it now, make me laugh.
damein: cannot la... i very tired, just came back from detention..write essay
hock: you go detention for what?
damein: cos i handsome mah...
Loen: can you stop being so humble!!
damein: okay la..i know you handsome also la..don't need to say
*cricket sound*
Loen: WEIIIII
Jnoane: Eh you call me?
Loen: Nooooo. i sent email to you.
Jnoane: Huh?
*awkward silence*
Loen: Nevermind.
Jnoane: Weiiii...
hock: why you call yourself again?
Jnoane: You wanna die issit?!
hock: Oooh i'm so scared...
Jnoane: I'm not kidding okay..i'll smash your head until you go nuts...
Loen: Cashew nut? Hazelnut? Coconut?
Jnoane: shut up la you ..you .... Loen-nut.
*awkward silence*
davehtas: let us observe a moment of silence for the failed joke ... ... okay silence over. Jnoane, you can continue
Jnoane: DOWAN!
Loen: Dowan!
hock: and you know why?
Loen: cos SO DIRTYYYYY!

~The contents, statements, and opinions expressed in this website are for educational, historical and entertainment purposes only. Any reference or similarity, implied or otherwise, to person or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental~












mrsexyvoice

Thursday, March 02, 2006


you know its the wrong time to be blogging when there's work sitting on the table in front of ya yet you find yourself typing this entry. you know its wrong cos you should be attempting to complete said assignment. but then keeping my blog alive is also a noble deed, so yup here i am again contributing to it...

...not that i have much to write about. Well i could start by saying that i've lost my voice. i don't know why and i don't know how but somehow a raspy low husky growl has replaced my usual vocals. to give ya an idea of how its like, if i try and go 'doe ray mi fa so la ti doe' i'll just lose it at the 'la' and yeah there'll be no more sound from me. everyone else says my new 'voice'' is nice though.. so maybe i'll keep speaking like this haha. in any case i ate another bar of chocolate today so the sore throat might last for awhile more haha





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